Not At All Like Spock
by Botsey
Summary: He is leaving. Even to the end his conduct is commendable. She will learn how to continue without him.


**Hi!. This came to my mind and I had to post it.**

 **Not At All Like Spock**

He was gone now for over a month. She was not sure how she was able to function, but she did. She had reasoned with him as best as she could…couldn't he just provide a sperm donation? Would it really be necessary for him to be present on New Vulcan? He had stared stony eyed at her and simply stated,

"My decision is a logical one. I will respect the Vulcan Way and that includes the concept that every child should be brought into a family with two parents, a mother and father."

He had refused to meet her eyes, and stood stony faced and rigid. Everything about his presence now was cold; cold and distant. His voice had a hollow ring to it.

She would protest no longer. She had overheard his father's voice when he was initially attempting to convince him to come to New Vulcan. She could hear Sarek's voice…

"She is an extremely aesthetically pleasing Terran female, and probably could have her pick of any human male. There are so few of us that must support our people's resurrection, in fact, our ascension to our former place in the galaxy. Everyone must contribute. There are others who can assume your place here, but that is not the case of your place on New Vulcan. Come with me my son, take your place at my side."

He had first made the decision to stay with Star Fleet. She could not say what caused this change in him. His pulling away from her was gradual. She sensed it ever stronger as they had approached their third year in space.

Nyota had not encroached on him to make permanent the relationship they had. She remembered in the beginning he had said,

'When YOU are ready…'

She had not heard that in quite some time, even before he stopped visiting her cabin. She had her pride, she had promised herself years ago, no male would make her grovel, she knew her own strengths and also her weaknesses, but at no time in her life had weakness been connected with her association with a male. But she had to admit, this was different, Spock was different, what they had had at one time was different…with that thought she pressed her face into her pillow and cried out his name.

`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`

So it was decided, he would take a leave of absence. Nyota's rueful thought was that the next time she would see him again he would be a husband and father and her ex-'everything that mattered'. She thought,

'Those months should be plenty of time for her to get him out of her system.'

She was brought out of her revere with a lite tap on the door, it was the captain. He had stopped by her cabin and inquired,

"How are things going? I mean, how are you holding up…?"

Her laugh sounded tinny as she said,

"There is not a man…no, male alive that can keep an Uhura woman down. We have amazing resiliency she sniffled and as Kirk walked towards her, she held out her palm to stop him,

"Just a momentary break. I will be fine."

"Look, if you just need someone to talk to, I'm here."

She nodded and with a slightly upturned mouth she said,

"Only in your office or the officers' lounge, OK?"

His reply,

"Wherever. I'm here for you."

"Thanks."

`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`

Spock had made it clear that he wanted no "Going Away Party'. He had become a bit agitated when it had been suggested. His 'logical' reasoning was,

'A celebration at the time of my going away might mean there would have to be a repeat when he returned. I will simply say a few words on the ship com and take my leave.'

So like Spock to not draw attention to himself.

On the evening before his departure Nyota had just reached her cabin when there a tap on the door and it opened unbidden. Spock entered, and stood before her.

"I found this in my quarters and since you are its rightful owner I thought it best that I return it to you."

He handed her a book of fairy tales she had read to him, often to his dismay. His question had been,

"This is what Terran parents read to their offspring?"

"Yes, Spock, it is called fairy tales."

"Would not the time be spent in a more logical way if the information conveyed was something that could be retained and used as the child grew older?"

"That is true Spock, but just chalk it up to our being a bit illogical."

He nodded and handed her a book on Vulcan history.

"This is the first book I remember my father sharing with me."

"How old were you?

"Four months."

"You remember what was read?"

He began to quote verbatim.

"OK, OK, I believe you. But since you have stored it away, why do you have the book here with you."

"To be able to share some of the thoughts contained in print with others, like yourself. Here, let me show this to you."

They spent several hours perusing the writings. When they had finished he simply said,

"If I were ever able to father children, this is the first readings I would want to share with them. It is part of The Vulcan Way."

Nyota thought, 'he is not leaving any room for me to read them my fairy tales.'

`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`0`

She asked,

"Do you care to sit down?"

"No, I will now leave you."

She thought,

'Indeed you are.'

"Please give my regards to your father."

"Thank you Nyota, I shall."

And then, he was gone. She was not certain what time he would transfer off The Enterprise to the Vulcan ship, VSS Surak.

Then she heard his voice,

"Crew of The Enterprise, this is Commander Spock speaking from the transporter room. I am taking my leave of active service for twenty-four months. Until I am again in your presence I take my leave with these parting words, Live Long and Prosper."

She bowed her head and allowed the tears to flow. She reached for the book to cradle it to her chest and a paper fell out. She unfolded it and saw his neat Vulcan script. With his eidetic memory, it was not at all like Spock to take notes so there should never be any notes to be left behind.

Nyota started reading…

' _Once upon a time there was a prince who lived in a distant land. He lived in the shadow of his father, a great king. He was always attempting to prove to his father and to himself that he would one day be worthy of receiving the kingship and ruling the people with the same worth and dignity as his father. He decided that he would venture to a faraway land and prove his worth there. There he received honors and privileges and made new friends. In this far away land there was a beautiful princess. She became the prince's best friend. She in fact filled his heart and his life. It was the most rewarding association he had ever had in his life. Just when he was certain that he wanted to spend his entire life with his princess, and eventually take her to his land, the unthinkable happened. An enemy king invaded his home world. There was such tragedy for his homeland. What happened there had a personal impact on him, for his mother was among the many casualties._

 _His father sent for him. He did not want to go. He did not want to leave his princess and his new friends but his father's words spoke of his loneliness, and his son's obligation to his house, to his people and responsibility as his father's legal heir.'_

 _His father words placed a heavy burden on him, the longer he thought about it, he knew he could not deny the one who had given him life. He would have to return to his homeland, would have to leave his princess. He had exhausted all logical reasons not to go._

 _As he prepared to leave he would have to see her one more time. He would allow his eyes to store the memory of her beautiful face that would have to last him his lifetime._

 _He also knew that he would not live, happily ever after.'_

She held the sheets of paper in her hand and started to shake. It was not at all like Spock to reveal himself in this way. Nyota knew that he had wanted her to find that story so that she would understand the depth of his grief and how long he had been floundering, struggling, trying to find a logical way to stay on The Enterprise…to stay with her. But, Nyota understood duty, she comprehended obligation. At that point she knew that he loved her but could not forget his obligation to his father and his people.

Whatever animosity she felt melted like snow in sunlight.

Like the prince in his story, she would never forget him. It was quite possible that upon his return to active duty he might seek an assignment on another ship. She would have to determine if she would want to be on The Enterprise when he returned to active duty. It might be difficult if she had to see him again. But in actuality, she did not have to ever be in his presence to 'see' him for indeed now she thoroughly understood him, he was the prince who was obligated to love his father, his people, and his home even more than he loved his 'princess'.

The quality of loyalty had always been manifested in him and it had rose to the fore in all of Spock's endeavors, so it was so in this instance and really how could she fault him for that. Truly, if he had acted in any other way it would not have been at all like Spock.


End file.
